Funny Travel Fails That Will Make You Laugh

The True Story of a Honeymoon from Hell on a Train

They were on their honeymoon after getting married in the US, having crossed the Atlantic on the Queen Mary 2 like proper romantics. For the next leg, they decided to "see the real America" by hopping on a train from Chicago to San Francisco – a scenic 52-hour ride through the Rockies that everyone calls "one of the most beautiful train journeys in the world."

Derek and Karen splurged on a private roomette: tiny bunk beds, a curtain for "privacy," and meals included in the dining car. They were buzzing – Instagram-ready views, no kids, just the two of them rocking side to side like a slow-motion cradle.

Hour 1-10: Bliss. Rockies! Snow-capped peaks! They toasted with complimentary sparkling wine and posted photos captioned "Married life is off the rails! 😂"

Hour 15: The train stops. Just... stops. Somewhere in the Colorado mountains. A tree fell on the tracks ahead because of high winds. No big deal, right? These things happen.

Hour 20: Still stopped. Power flickers. The toilets start backing up because the vacuum system needs the train to be moving. (Pro tip: train toilets are not designed for stationary life.)

Hour 25: Food runs low. The dining car switches to "emergency menu" – basically cold sandwiches and whatever snacks they can scrounge. Derek and Karen bond with their car-mates over shared misery, playing cards by flashlight on their phones.

Hour 30: Heat goes out. It's February in the Rockies. Temperature inside the train drops to "meat locker." Passengers start layering up like they're on Everest. Karen wraps herself in the tiny blanket that smells suspiciously like a thousand previous passengers.

Hour 37: Conductor announces they're busing everyone to the nearest town (Grand Junction, Colorado) because the track won't clear for days. But first... they have to wait for the buses. In the snow. On the train.

Hour 40: The great exodus begins. Passengers haul luggage down icy steps in the dark. Derek slips and face-plants into a snowbank while carrying both suitcases (gentleman points). Karen laughs so hard she almost pees – which would have been tragic given the toilet situation.

They finally get bused to a hotel at 3 a.m., covered in snow, smelling like train, and deliriously giggling because what else can you do? The train gave everyone refunds and vouchers, but Derek still says the highlight of the honeymoon was "watching Karen try to eat a cold ham sandwich with mittens on while declaring war on all trees in Colorado."

They finished the trip a day later on a different train and still got married-life bragging rights: "Yeah, we survived a real American adventure – 40 hours trapped on a train with exploding toilets. Your Maldives resort has nothing on that."

True story – it's been recounted in travel articles and train forums ever since.

Moral: If you're going to get derailed on your honeymoon, do it with someone who finds frozen misery hilarious. Derek and Karen are still married... and they now fly everywhere. *Names were changed to protect privacy